TRUE LOYALTY IS NOT FOR SALE (Sunday Sermon)

By Ewere Okonta, PhD

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One of the easiest things to find in today's society is a loyal person when everything is going well. When the money is flowing, appointments are being secured, favours are being granted, and opportunities are available, everybody seems to be loyal. Everybody is a supporter, a believer, a friend and a dependable ally. You will hear things like, "Boss, we are solidly behind you!" "My Leader, we are together!" "Oga, you can count on me!" But the real test of loyalty does not come when there is something to gain. It comes when there is absolutely nothing to gain.

Unfortunately, we live in a society where many people have mistaken personal benefits for genuine loyalty. Their allegiance is not to a person, an idea, a cause or a relationship. It is to their stomach, pockets and personal ambitions. They are loyal to what they can extract from you, not necessarily to who you are. Their friendship has a price tag, their support has conditions, and their commitment has an expiry date.

The moment the benefits disappear, their loyalty disappears with them. Withdraw the financial assistance, deny them the expected appointment, stop providing opportunities, or simply lose the influence they once enjoyed, and you may be shocked at how quickly their attitude changes. Yesterday's greatest cheerleaders suddenly become today's fiercest critics. Those who once sang your praises may begin to question your character, competence and integrity. Some will even join forces with people they previously condemned, simply because there is a new table from which they hope to eat.

This is perhaps one of the most disturbing realities of our political environment. Politics appears to have become a breeding ground for transactional relationships, where some individuals move from one political camp to another with the speed and enthusiasm of people changing clothes. Their political ideology is whatever their next benefactor believes. Their loyalty follows whoever controls the resources, distributes appointments or offers the most attractive political positioning.

They call you "Boss!" when you are in power, "My Leader!" when you control the structure, and "My Oga!" when you can facilitate their interests. But let the political tide turn, and you will discover that some of those who swore never to abandon you were only waiting for a more attractive destination.

One begins to wonder why this attitude is so widespread in our political space. Is it unemployment? Is it the desperation to survive in an increasingly difficult economy? Is it laziness and the unwillingness to build something independently? Or is it simply greed, opportunism and a deeply ingrained culture of ingratitude? Whatever the explanation, none of these excuses justifies betrayal, dishonesty or the deliberate exploitation of relationships.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with benefiting from a relationship. People should support one another, create opportunities, share resources and help others to progress. There is nothing immoral about receiving assistance from someone who genuinely wants to see you succeed. The problem begins when benefits become the only reason for maintaining a relationship. There is a difference between appreciating someone's generosity and making that generosity the foundation of your allegiance.

True loyalty is not blind obedience. It does not mean supporting wrongdoing, covering up corruption or abandoning one's conscience to please a benefactor. Genuine loyalty allows honest disagreement, constructive criticism and the courage to tell someone the truth even when that truth is uncomfortable. Indeed, sometimes the most loyal person in your circle is the one who tells you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

There is also an important distinction between betrayal and legitimate separation. People have the right to outgrow relationships, change their political affiliations, disagree with leadership and pursue better opportunities. Nobody owes another person permanent allegiance at the expense of personal convictions. However, there is a difference between making an honest decision to move on and deliberately turning against someone simply because the expected benefits have stopped. It is the hypocrisy, deceit and calculated ingratitude that expose the character of transactional loyalists.

Beyond politics, this behaviour is everywhere. In religious organisations, some people are committed to spiritual leaders only because of financial assistance, privileged access or positions in the church. In business, some associates remain dependable only while the partnership is profitable. In families, some relatives remember you only when they need financial assistance. Even in friendships, there are people whose presence is determined by what they can collect rather than what they can contribute.

These are the proverbial wolves in sheep's clothing. They know how to speak the language of loyalty, but their actions tell a different story. They are experts at praising people in their presence and undermining them in their absence. They can celebrate your success publicly while privately waiting for your downfall. Their greatest talent is knowing when to appear supportive and when to reposition themselves for another opportunity.

But here is something such people often fail to understand: loyalty pays, even when there is no immediate financial reward.

A loyal person builds trust, and trust is one of the most valuable currencies in human relationships. Money can disappear, political power can change hands, appointments can expire, and influence can diminish. But a reputation for honesty, consistency and dependability can open doors that money and political connections cannot. People remember those who stood by them during difficult moments. They remember those who refused to betray confidence, those who kept their promises and those who remained truthful when it was inconvenient.

Interestingly, the person you abandon today may not be the person you will need tomorrow. Life is unpredictable. Political positions are temporary, businesses rise and fall, and human fortunes change. The individual you consider irrelevant today may become useful tomorrow. This is why character should never be sacrificed on the altar of immediate benefits.

Perhaps we should also ask ourselves some uncomfortable questions. If the person who currently assists you loses everything tomorrow, will you still respect them? If your political leader loses an election, will you still acknowledge the contributions they made to your life? If a friend can no longer provide financial assistance, will you still find reasons to maintain the friendship? If your benefactor can no longer secure appointments or influence decisions, will your relationship survive?

These questions are not merely for those who receive favours. They are equally important for those who give them. Leaders, political officeholders, employers, religious leaders and people of influence must learn to distinguish genuine relationships from the crowd of convenience. Not everyone who surrounds you loves you. Not everyone who praises you believes in you. And not everyone who calls you a leader is prepared to stand with you when leadership becomes difficult.

Do not confuse a crowd with a constituency of genuine supporters. Some people are only present because the music is playing and the food is being served. When the music stops and the table is cleared, you will discover who was genuinely interested in the relationship.

My advice is simple: be loyal, but do not be foolish. Appreciate those who help you, honour your commitments, keep your promises and never allow temporary benefits to determine your character. If you must disagree, disagree honestly. If you must leave, leave honourably. Do not destroy a relationship simply because the person can no longer meet your expectations.

And if you are in a position to help others, help without turning their gratitude into a lifelong obligation. Genuine generosity should not become a tool for purchasing people's conscience or demanding unquestionable allegiance.

The Bible offers a powerful reminder in Proverbs 17:17: "A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." In other words, the quality of a relationship is not fully revealed during seasons of abundance but during moments of adversity.

Ultimately, life is too short to build relationships on deception, opportunism and stomach infrastructure. Money may attract people, power may command attention, and influence may create temporary loyalty. But only character sustains genuine relationships.

So, the next time someone calls you "Boss!", "My Leader!" or "My Oga!", do not be carried away by the sweetness of the words. Watch their conduct when there is nothing to gain. That is when you will know whether you have a loyal friend or simply a beneficiary waiting for the next transaction.

Remember: People who are loyal only when you have something to offer are not loyal to you; they are loyal to what you offer. And when the benefits stop, their true colours begin to show.

Dr Ewere Okonta is the CEO of EOB Media, a family-values advocate, teacher and writer. He writes from the Department of Business Administration, University of Delta, Agbor.