SUNDAY SERMON: WHEN WRONG BECOMES RIGHT

By Ewere Okonta, PhD

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There was a time when certain behaviours were considered unacceptable and morally reprehensible. People were ashamed of them, parents condemned them, religious institutions cautioned against them, and society generally frowned upon them.

Today, many of those same behaviours are no longer hidden. They are openly displayed, celebrated, defended and, in some cases, rewarded.

That should concern every society that still values morality and possesses a functioning conscience.

One of the greatest challenges confronting our generation is not simply that people are increasingly doing what is wrong. It is that we are gradually losing the moral sensitivity to recognise wrong as wrong.

We have become so accustomed to moral contradictions that things that should ordinarily shock us now attract little or no concern.

A young person cheats through school and is celebrated when he eventually becomes successful. A public official misappropriates public resources and is described as "smart." A married person engages in infidelity and friends dismiss it as part of modern relationships. Someone acquires unexplained wealth, purchases expensive possessions and is immediately elevated into the status of a role model.

The more disturbing development is our growing ability to give respectable names to questionable behaviour.

Cheating has become "being smart."

Greed is described as "ambition."

Arrogance is presented as "confidence."

Irresponsibility is defended as "living my life."

Infidelity is sometimes rationalised as "finding happiness."

In many instances, wrongdoing is defended simply because the person involved is a friend, relative, political associate, religious leader or public figure whom we admire.

That is how conscience gradually loses its authority.

WHEN CONSCIENCE BECOMES NEGOTIABLE

Conscience is the internal moral faculty that reminds us that something is wrong even when nobody is watching.

The danger begins when we start negotiating with that inner voice.

We say, "Everybody is doing it."

We say, "That is how things are done."

We say, "If I do not take advantage of the opportunity, somebody else will."

Eventually, we stop asking whether something is right and begin asking whether we can get away with it.

This moral decline has been amplified by social media, where popularity is increasingly mistaken for legitimacy. When something trends, it is assumed to be acceptable. When thousands of people endorse it, it is treated as normal. When a celebrity does it, it is described as lifestyle. When a wealthy person does it, it is interpreted as evidence of success.

But popularity does not transform wrongdoing into righteousness.

A crowd can be wrong. A generation can be wrong. Even an entire society can be wrong.

Consequently, one of the greatest demonstrations of courage in our time is the willingness to stand alone and say, "This is wrong, and I will not participate."

PARENTS, WE MUST ACCEPT SOME RESPONSIBILITY

Parents cannot continue to complain about the behaviour of young people without examining the environment in which those young people are being raised.

A child cannot be handed a smartphone and effectively abandoned to the internet as a substitute parent. Neither can parents devote virtually all their attention to making money while expecting social media, television and strangers online to provide moral instruction for their children.

Children observe far more than we realise.

They observe how we treat our spouses, how we speak to people, how we respond to pressure, whether we honour our commitments and whether we tell the truth when dishonesty would benefit us.

The uncomfortable reality is that children often learn more from the behaviour of their parents than from their instructions.

When a parent warns a child against dishonesty but routinely tells lies, the child receives a contradictory lesson. When a parent preaches hard work but constantly seeks shortcuts, the message is equally confusing. When a parent condemns corruption but celebrates corrupt individuals because they have provided personal benefits, the child is being taught that morality is negotiable.

What, then, are we truly teaching the next generation?

THE RELIGIOUS HYPOCRISY WE MUST CONFRONT

Religion is expected to produce better human beings. Unfortunately, some people have become more concerned with appearing religious than with developing godly character.

We know how to shout "Amen." We know how to quote scriptures, attend religious programmes and publish inspirational verses online.

But can we forgive?

Can we keep our word?

Can we tell the truth when it is inconvenient?

Can we return what does not belong to us?

Can we resist temptation when nobody will ever discover what we have done?

Can we apologise when we are wrong?

These questions matter because religious activity without moral character is merely religious performance.

A person can be prominent in church and still be destructive outside it. A person can carry a Bible and harbour hatred. A person can preach holiness publicly while privately living contrary to the principles being preached.

The society does not simply need more people who can preach.

It needs more people who can practise what they preach.

POLITICS: WHEN WE REWARD THE WRONG PEOPLE

We cannot consistently complain about poor leadership while rewarding the very behaviours that produce poor leadership.

When citizens sell their votes, compromise their principles or support candidates merely because of immediate financial benefits, they surrender part of their future.

When we vote for a politician because he distributed money during an election and later complain that he misappropriated public funds, we must examine our own responsibility in the process.

The situation becomes even more disturbing when corruption is defended because the accused belongs to our political party, ethnic group, religious community or social circle.

At that point, corruption has ceased to be an enemy. It has become a tool of convenience.

We must therefore move beyond the question, "What will this politician give me?"

We should ask, "What kind of society will this person help to build?"

The political decisions we make today can determine the quality of education our children receive, the opportunities available to young people and the kind of country future generations inherit.

WHEN MONEY OUTGROWS CHARACTER

There is nothing inherently wrong with the pursuit of wealth or legitimate success. The problem arises when the pursuit of money becomes more important than the values that should guide the pursuit.

We have become increasingly fascinated by the destination while showing little interest in the journey.

A young person sees somebody acquire enormous wealth within a short period and begins to conclude that legitimate hard work is outdated and that integrity is a disadvantage.

That is a dangerous lesson.

Entrepreneurship should be encouraged, but it must be accompanied by integrity. Technology should empower society without diminishing our humanity. Social media should connect people without becoming an instrument for humiliation, manipulation and character assassination.

Wealth can purchase comfort, but it cannot purchase character.

And when character is absent, even success can become destructive.

THE MOST DANGEROUS PERSON MAY BE THE ONE WHO NO LONGER FEELS GUILTY

Conscience rarely disappears overnight.

The first act of dishonesty may produce discomfort. The second may produce less. With repetition, the discomfort gradually disappears.

That is how moral boundaries are weakened.

One compromise leads to another. One lie makes the next one easier. One betrayal becomes a precedent for another. Eventually, a person can engage in behaviour that would once have horrified them without experiencing any meaningful sense of guilt.

That is why conscience must be protected.

Once conscience becomes silent, almost anything becomes possible.

WE MUST LEARN TO BE UNPOPULAR FOR THE RIGHT REASONS

Perhaps what our society needs is a generation of people who are willing to appear old-fashioned because they still believe in integrity.

People who will refuse to cheat simply because others are cheating.

People who will reject dishonest wealth even when it is attractive.

People who will not manipulate relationships for personal advantage.

People who will raise children with values rather than merely providing them with gadgets.

People who will build businesses without exploiting others.

People who will enter politics because they want to serve, rather than because they see public office as a pathway to personal enrichment.

People who will practise their faith beyond the walls of religious institutions.

Being different is not necessarily a weakness. Sometimes, it is evidence of conviction.

THE QUESTION IS NOT WHETHER SOCIETY IS GETTING WORSE

The more important question is:

What are you contributing to the society we are becoming?

Are you part of the problem or part of the solution?

Are you raising children who will improve society or merely teaching them how to survive its problems?

Are you building healthy relationships or contributing to their destruction?

Are you controlling technology, or has technology begun to control you?

Are you pursuing legitimate success, or are you sacrificing your values in pursuit of wealth?

Are you practising your faith, or merely performing religion?

We cannot continue to blame society while forgetting that society is a reflection of the people who constitute it.

If we genuinely desire a better society, somebody must begin the transformation.

Let that person be you.

Let us restore the value of truth, hard work, responsible parenting, faithful relationships, integrity in leadership and accountability in public life.

Let us restore dignity to our relationships and humanity to our use of technology.

Above all, let us awaken our consciences before they become permanently silent.

A society does not collapse only when its economy fails or its institutions become weak.

It collapses when its people lose the ability to distinguish between right and wrong.

And perhaps the most uncomfortable question facing our generation is not:

"What has happened to society?"

It is:

"WHAT HAPPENED TO US?"

Dr Ewere Okonta is the CEO of EOB Media. He is a family values advocate. He writes from the Department of Business Administration, University of Delta, Agbor